FOR SALE : VAMPIRE STAKE
“Kills ALL known vampires UNDEAD”
by NickNickw123
Price: £19.99
Originally fashioned by Joseph (Jesus' Dad) from a carefully selected Olive tree in Mary’s Garden. For many centuries it was thought to be lost but it had actually been preserved by a group of disciples and hidden in a vat of garlic oil. Blessed by 3 Popes it saw glorious service during the Inquisition and Salaam witch trials until it eventually came into the possession of one V. Helsing (Van to his mates). Van’s heroic exploits became the talk of the vampire slaying world and could not have occurred if not for this Stake. (It is said that our modern favourite of Stake & Chips hails from this era). In more recent times it was acquired by one B. Slayer more famously known as Buffy and again provided a happy and timely service to humanity in eradicating blood suckers in North America.
AND NOW FOR THIS HALLOWEEN : We are offering this priceless tool in the fight against evil for the ridiculously low price of £19.99.
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID:
“F***ed me up real bad !!” – C. Lee
“Wish I had had it ! Would have saved me a lot of grief.” – H. Potter
“Nothing compares” – S. O’Connor
“BANG and the dirt is gone!” - B. Smith
“Don’t miss out !” – B. Stoker
AND NOW, FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY :
For those of a more diminutive physique a mallet can be provided for only £4.99
FULL TRAINING GIVEN WITH EVERY PURCHASE. FREE STAKEHOLDER PENSION
AND NOW FOR THIS HALLOWEEN : We are offering this priceless tool in the fight against evil for the ridiculously low price of £19.99.
WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID:
“F***ed me up real bad !!” – C. Lee
“Wish I had had it ! Would have saved me a lot of grief.” – H. Potter
“Nothing compares” – S. O’Connor
“BANG and the dirt is gone!” - B. Smith
“Don’t miss out !” – B. Stoker
AND NOW, FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY :
For those of a more diminutive physique a mallet can be provided for only £4.99
FULL TRAINING GIVEN WITH EVERY PURCHASE. FREE STAKEHOLDER PENSION
