The Pope dies and arrives in Heaven where he meets St. Peter.
St. Peter: "Who are you?"
The Pope: "I am the Pope."
St. Peter: "Who? There's no such name in my book."
The Pope: "I'm the representative of God on Earth."
St.Peter: "Does God have a representative? He didn't tell me ..."
The Pope: "But I am the leader of the Catholic Church ..."
St. Peter: "The Catholic church ... Never heard of it ... Wait, I'll check with the boss."
St. Peter walks away through Heaven's Gate to talk with God.
St. Peter: "There's a dude standing outside who claims he's your representative on earth."
God: "I don't have a representative on earth, not that I know of ... Wait, I'll ask Jesus." (yells for Jesus)
Jesus: "Yes Dad, what's up?"
God and St. Peter explain the situation.
Jesus: "Wait, I'll go outside and have a little chat with that fellow."
Ten minutes pass and Jesus reenters the room laughing out loud. After a few minutes St. Peter asks Jesus why he's laughing.
Jesus: "Remember that fishing club I've started 2000 years ago? It still exists!"
~
The Pope dies and goes to Heaven at the same time as a lawyer. St Peter meets them at the pearly gates and tells them: "Let me show you to your quarters."
First St Peter takes the Pope to his lodgings. There is a bedroom with a small office completely lined with books, floor to ceiling, regarding every theological topic imaginable. "This is amazing, I could spend an eternity in here," says the Pope.
Next St Peter takes the lawyer to his accommodations. It is a lavish penthouse with marble, vaulted ceilings, exquisite artwork, an indoor pool, a private bar with bartender, movie theatre, countless rooms and dozens of servants. The lawyer is puzzled: "You put the Pope in a dorm room with lots of books and you put me in a palace; why?"
St. Peter replied: "Oh, we have lots of Popes but you are our first lawyer."
~
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
“This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman. “Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person.”
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in ‘unt'?”
Only one word leaps to his mind. “My goodness,” thinks the gentleman, “I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him.
Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you're looking for is aunt."
“Oh, silly me,” says the Pope. “Do you have an eraser?”
~
Maybe the Pope just wants to finally get married.
Or settle down with a couple of kids.
(source: Reddit)
