Interviewer: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us, Lord.
Jesus: No probs. It's good to be here in person.
Interviewer, smiling: You mean "again"?
Jesus: What do you mean?
Interviewer: I mean, you were here before, so this is "again".
Jesus, smiling: Ah, I see. No, that was Brian.
Interviewer:
Jesus: Just pulling your leg. Of course I mean "again".
Interviewer (chuckling): Good one, Lord... But, now to the topic of the day. What do you have to say about Hell?
Jesus: Hell?
Interviewer: Yes Lord. Some would say that the concept of Hell is at odds with that of an all loving Creator.
Jesus: Yeah, that occurred to us too.
Interviewer: But?
Jesus: Well, see, it's like this: As a parent, when you tell your children to do something, and they don't, what do you do?
Interviewer: I send them to the naughty corner.
Jesus: Well there you go. It's just the same.
Interviewer: You don't think that's a bit harsh? An eternity of torment for a finite number of sins?
Jesus: That's why you shouldn't piss off an infinite Being. Now, where's that beer I was promised? I'm fucking parched.
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Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.