Funny Jesus Caption Competition #54 - Winner Polish Atheist
Richard Dawkins on Religion
What worries me about religion is that it teaches people to be satisfied with not understanding
Jesus, Help Me!
The silent heavens, so deaf to our frantic pleas, almost as if there were nothing there.
God prefers unbelievers
I'm starting to prefer the ones who don't believe in me.
Thought and Prayers
Instead of sending thoughts and prayers, why not do something useful?.
Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christ. Show all posts
A Matter of Chocolate
After a brief discussion about the weather, the Pope said, "I know this question may sound odd to you, but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!" exclaimed the slightly taller of two aliens. "Of course we do! He visits our planet every two years or so. Awesome fellow!"
A hush descended on the audience chamber, and everyone watched the Pope, whose face had turned a rather odd purple.
"Every two years?" he shouted. "We're still waiting for his second coming!"
"Maybe he didn't like your chocolate?" suggested the alien.
"Chocolate?" replied the Pope. "What in heaven's name does chocolate have to do with it?"
"Well," said the alien. "When he came to our planet, we gave him chocolate. Why, what do you do?"
Funny Jesus Pope Alien Joke
The Temptation of Christ
Funny Temptation of Christ meme - Jesus being tempted by Satan in the desert - Star Wars themed
The Jesus Interviews - Origins
Interviewer: Thank you for taking the time to talk to us.
Jesus: No probs.
Interviewer: Today I'd like to discuss the question of origins. In other words, who made you?
Jesus: What do you mean?
Interviewer: I mean, everything has to come from something, so where did you come from?
Jesus: That rule only applies to stuff I made. I'm eternal, timeless, the Beginning, the End, the Preexistent One, etc. I just am.
Interviewer: I see.
Jesus: You do? Really?
Interviewer: I think so. You just are, you always existed, so you don't need to come from anything.
Jesus: Except that it's bollocks.
Interviewer: Sorry?
Jesus: Yes, you're just messing with definitions. You say everything has to come from something, except that to which the rule for some reason doesn't apply. Very convenient, don't you think?
Interviewer: But you just said...
Jesus: I was just messing with you. Uncle Zeb made me.
Interviewer: Uncle Zeb? Who's he?
Jesus: Dunno. Mum never told us.
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Read further interviews with Lawd Cheesy Crust.
Jesus Supped With His Apostles
Jesus Supped With His Apostles Painting Meme - Bible Verse John 13:14ff
Christian Evangelism
Excuse me, sir. Do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ. Sir? | Funny polar bear Christian evangelism meme picture.
Go into all the world and preach the Gospel, the good news of Salvation!I tried this, but found that in most cases people would ask you what all the fuss was about. I realised that the key to being a good evangelist is to bring the problem and the cure.
For example,
"You're all sinners!"
"Oh, my God, really? Shit! What can I do?"
"Pray this prayer, sign here, and less of the bl*sphemy and sh*t going forward, please."
Sorted.
Caption Competition #38
Funny Jesus Caption Competition #38 - Did you guys feel a raindrop?
Caption Competition Winner: Rusty Shackleford
Funny Caption Competition #37
Funny Caption Competition #37 - This wouldn't have happened if you suited up, Ted.
Caption Competition Winner - Shut up, Xtians
Caption Competition #36
Funny Jesus Resurrection Caption Competition #36 - Who gets the Easter egg?
Caption Competition Winner: Brian Mahon
Caption Competition #28
Caption Competition #28 Jesus: I'm a lesbian. What'd he say? He's a thespian.
Caption Competition Winner: Shitter Is Full
Jesus Last Supper Happy Meal
Funny Jesus Last Supper Happy Meal - Guys! Guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?
Caption Competition #16
"If Jebus was from the middle east, why is he always yellow in the paintings?"
Caption Winner: Barby On A Bike
