Is Heaven Heavenly?

For those luckily enough to have heard about Jesus (i.e. the winners of the geographical and genetic lottery), Heaven awaits: a glorious place full of mansions and shit; a place where the Resurrected army of God will return to their King to worship, free of tears, suffering and evil; for all eternity.

But at what terrible cost?  Will we be able to choose?  Will there be any more of those tricksy trees to avoid?  Heaven forbid the whole experiment kicks off again!

That aside, it sounds like it would be a pretty perfect place, cosily nestled in Abraham's bosom, separated by an impassable chasm from Hell, the eternal home of the suffering wicked.

And the Righteous, now being devoid of tears and anguish, will presumably not give a damn (pun intended) about their unsaved loved ones; much like their "loving" Father.

 I think I'd rather burn than be part of this charade.

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Knocking On Heaven's Door

Jesus strolled up to St Peter and put his majestic arm around the old saint's shoulders.  "How's it going, old friend?"

St Peter replied, "I have done as you instructed Lord: all the women have gone through the great gates, while the men have formed two orderly queues, according to whether or not they were the head of their households."

Jesus cast his eye over the first queue - the longer of the two: filled with men who had not lived up to his Father's command - and shook his sadly.  "So many have failed," he sighed.

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Drive Carefully No Heaven Sign

Funny Drive Carefully There's No Heaven Sign Joke Picture

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Funny Jesus Heaven Hell Lookout Spot

Funny Jesus Heaven Hell Lookout Spot - Let's head over to the lookout spot and watch your friends and family burn in hell

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Funny Steve Jobs Heaven Apple Cartoon

Funny Steve Jobs Heaven Apple Cartoon - To be honest, Mr Jobs, the last time an apple caused so much excitement around here involved Adam, Eve and a snake

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Heaven Hell Coexist Meme

How can heaven and hell coexist?  How can any sane and loving human being be happy in heaven knowing that millions of people, innocent or not, are being tortured for eternity?  This heaven is a place void of empathy, an asylum for psychopaths.  How is this heaven good?

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Funny Heaven Complaint Joke

 Funny KKK Black St Peter Cartoon Pearly Gates Heaven Joke

"St Peter, I'd like to register a complaint."

The old man paused from his writing in the Book of Life and raised a quizzical, bushy, white eyebrow at me, "About heaven? Can't say that has happened to me before."

I nodded, "Yes, about heaven. I have come across a great injustice: my lifelong friend Joe and I are neighbours, but while he gets to share a room (and who knows what else) with Marilyn Monroe, I got Mrs Froom from up the road! You know, the one with the moustache!"

He smiled sympathetically, "Well, you do know that in heaven it is not all about rewards - there are some consequences too. You did some bad things on earth so your 'punishment' (we don't really like to use that word here) is Mrs Froom."

"But," I protested, "Joe was certainly no better than me! How come he gets Marilyn Monroe?"

St Peter grinned, "Ah, you see, he is her punishment."

(Source: Joke Inside)

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Funny Heaven Cartoons

 Funny Heaven Cartoon Joke Picture - No atheists at pearly gates - I don't believe it

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